High Raw Happiness

If you’re looking for Carbon Offsets click here.

Few will argue that Earth truly needs more people. We guzzle resources, hog the best land, and spread like armadillos. Perhaps it’s time to tap the brake on the rate of our population increase. But how?

The Chinese have their heads if not their hearts in the right place with their ham fisted, big government “one child per family” plan. Even with that in place, however the Chinese increase, plus a free society would never accept it. The world needs a market driven solution.

When each person, or carbon unit [1], is born they accrue one Carbon Unit Credit (CUC). This entitles them to produce one new carbon unit, or human being, in their lifetime. A married couple would have two credits to work with. If they have two children they’re done. Their credits spent. But if they have just one child they retain a valuable CUC.

Naturally other couples will find themselves with more than two children. How will they live with the guilt knowing they’ve gone beyond self replacement and have added to the population problem?!

To balance the equation, the over limit family could use the under limit family’s surplus credit. But that’s a pretty big sacrifice the under limit family is being asked to make. What if they decide to have a second child someday? They deserve compensation. But how much?

That’s where the Carbon Unit Offset Foundation (CUOF) comes in. The CUOF will operate an exchange, acting as an agent between the surplus child family and the surplus CUC family.

Luckily you don’t have to wait until you’ve reached the end of your fertile years to help fight population growth. You can participate now by investing in Carbon Unit Offsets (CUO’s) through the foundation. This will give you peace of mind knowing you are part of the solution.

What does the foundation do with the money raised from the sale of CUO’s? After a modest management fee, it reinvests in population dampening businesses, such as alcohol producers, tobacco companies, and motorcycle manufacturers, thereby strengthening the forces that inherently reduce the proliferation of Man.

If you have a credit to sell, need to buy, or wish to invest in the future, contact the Carbon Unit Offset Foundation (CUOF).

Carbon Unit Offsets, because Earth has had it up to here with people.

[1] “Carbon Unit” as popularized in the movie “Star Trek, the Motion Picture”

This is an opinion piece. I am not a nutritionist (besides they are “in on it”), but am a health hobbyist experimenting on myself. I am a nearly lifelong vegetarian. I develop software for a living.

The science is in! New research proves protein comes from the sun.

Actually, no. Maybe in sort of a circle of life, Hakuna Matata way it does, but the notion is as scientifically sound as everything else we’ve been taught about nutrition in my lifetime.

Since 1973 whenever it comes out that I don’t eat meat the following occurs:

First someone exclaims “No meat?!” then:

• Where do you get your protein? Or:
• Is it for health or the Peta sort of thing? (and someone will make the “People Eating Tasty Animals” joke) Or:
• I couldn’t live without my meat. (all nod) Or, if only males present:
• You eat <censored sexual reference> don’t you? (All ROFL and drink.)

We are here to address bullet one “Where do you get your protein?”

Isn’t it funny that you can live off Coke, pizza, burgers, fried foods, etc. and no one is concerned, but let them find out you live off fruit and vegetables and they are suddenly worried about your diet. “Where do you get your protein? Do you take calcium supplements? What about B vitamins? No milk? Where do you get your vitamin D?”

For the first 30-ish years, when asked about protein, I said I ate cheese, which people reluctantly conceded might be OK. Now being vegan, I fall back to saying I eat nuts, or beans and rice, which often elicits an affirmation of the “complete protein” myth from someone. It holds that you must combine complimentary proteins. This is a fallacy first put forth in Frances Moore Lappé’s 1971 bestseller “Diet for a Small Planet.” [1] It has been accepted as fact and is now “common knowledge.” Current thinking is that you don’t have to eat these foods together to get the protein.

Per Wikipedia, proteins are “linear chains of amino acids.” [2] Most foods contain amino acids. To get enough protein you probably just have to eat food.

Why all the hysteria over protein? It’s just one of many vital nutrients. Conspiracy! It’s a scam to fleece the mooches. The meat/dairy industry in collusion with the FDA has created an artificial demand for protein by setting an arbitrarily high target for protein in dietary guidelines. The purpose is to move more product, not to make healthy humans. Likewise with calcium, and the danger of UV rays, but one scam at a time. In the future current meat advertising will be understood to be just as ludicrous as old ads promoting the health benefits of Coke, opiates and cigarettes.

Even quack medical doctors begrudge that there might be some link between health and diet. A few may even go so far as to recommend eating more fruit and vegetables and to limit meat intake–but only after a heart attack.

Instead of worrying about getting enough protein, people should be concerned about getting enough light, by eating raw plant-based foods and spending time outdoors.

[1] http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Protein_combining

[2]http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Amino_acid

Originally posted by Steve Swann at 12/4/2010 9:21 PM

Global warming, climate change, the gravity shortage… It’s all bad, but we can each and every one of us do our part. Ride mass transit, go vegan, store heavy objects as low as possible. You know the drill.

Now it’s June 1st already! I’m spreading the word about Global Time Loss! (GTL!) People used to say that as you get older, time passes more and more quickly. But I just saw on Twitter where one of my very young, otherwise healthy, Twitter friends remarked “Holy cow it’s 6/1 already? Where’s the time going??” If even she’s affected, what about those of us already at high risk? Time will fly. GTL! June? Hell I’m still tripping over Christmas ornaments!

What causes GTL!? Man. Obviously. By overpopulating our planet and guzzling its resources we are literally eating Earth alive. As it is consumed it naturally becomes lighter, which in turn makes it spin faster, and orbit faster. Speeding time.

I know what you’re thinking. “Steve, what can I do to fight GTL!?”

First, knowledge is power. Spread the word about GTL!. Then start conserving today:

• Set your calendar back five minutes.
• Multitask more, harder, faster.
• Speed.
• Don’t even think about stopping for yellow lights.
• If you drink Tall, go Grande. Already Grande? Go Venti.
• Dammit quit writing checks!

There are thousands of ways to cut corners!

GTL!: The time to save is now.

“6. Thou shall not kill {your fellow Man or other animals}.”

Implied. Omit for space.

At lunch yesterday my friend was telling us of a frightening medical situation he’d had with his young son. It was horrendous and twice I said “Oh my God!”

Later I remembered that he’s a really devout Christian and might have been offended by my taking God’s name in vain like that.

Once my nephew, fresh off the Army transport from Iraq, came to visit. He kept saying “Jesus!” to everything. Like “Jesus you’re dog is big!” And “Jesus that’s a nice Christmas tree!” even made the likes of me a little uncomfortable! That might be how my friend feels about “Oh my God.”

But is it really wrong? What if you’re standing on the beach as a tsunami hits? I don’t think there’s a preacher on Earth that would fault you for saying “Oh my God!” at that point. So it’s really a matter of where you draw the line. In a life threatening situation it’s probably OK to say whatever comes to mind. Likewise, when a friend relays a story about a life threatening situation, maybe it’s OK then too, depending on the company. But just because your dog is fat, no.

Which brings me to “awesome.” I think awesome has been devalued to the point where it’s simply a synonym of “cool.” The Grand Canyon is awesome. The Pyramids, Niagara Falls, Space. These things are awesome. New tires for your bicycle? Not awesome, just cool.